Idiot Compassion, Idiot Humility

Imagine working with a sociopath.  Knowing that no matter how much you aspire to live to the credo of “doing unto others,” your counterpart will always put their needs above yours.  Netting it out: if you are willing to give, they are willing to take.  If this was your reality and your accommodating nature led you to enable such behavior versus setting hard boundaries, then you are practicing idiot compassion.

Similarly, imagine encountering a drug addict on the street who is homeless and sickly looking.  They approach you and ask for money so they can buy some food.  You feel for their suffering so you give them a couple of bucks.  You are practicing idiot compassion.

What is idiot compassion?  It is a Buddhist axiom that describes self-deluding behaviors in the guise of sympathy/empathy that manifest in the destruction of yourself or others. 

Idiot compassion results from failing to heed the essentialness of self-preservation when confronted by societal dangers (ignorance).  Or, from seeing such dangers as the ultimate test of faith (martyrdom).  Or, confusing empathy with enablement.

In terms of avoiding the path of idiot compassion, this is an area where I have moral clarity but I have certainly encountered my share of conflict-avoidant types that have let themselves be snookered into such behaviors.

But recently, through my career coach (think: professional shrink), I came to realize that I was practicing idiot humility.  What is idiot humility?  My definition for it is an inability to allow oneself to aspire to greatness, to set and maintain an expectation of breakout success, or just generally see oneself as deserving of living their life’s dreams. 

This sounds very obvious; that it should be natural for all people to swing for the fences of life, to expect that they will hit the winning shot or to see themselves as worthy of all the breaks. 

But, the funny thing in my case was that because I understand how much luck is involved, how thin the line is between success and failure and how important it is to appreciate your lot in life, to enjoy it and have fun, to savor now versus dwelling on tomorrow that I held myself back in the name of humility.

What I have since realized is something that I had always preached but only now fully practice.  Namely, that we have a limited time on the planet and as such, must “own” in the pragmatic sense the path that drives us forward in life.  That having defined such structure to our existence, gravity is destined to become our friend versus an enemy that must be fought, ignored or minimally, avoided making eye contact with.

I am compassionate and practice humility but I am an idiot no more.

Comments

[John "Z-Bo" Zabroski]

I try and push myself in ways few people are willing to. In college, so far I've taken two English classes intended for upperclass English majors. I can say that the experience has been much more enriching than the 100-level creative writing courses I've taken.

In one of the courses I took, Age of Johnson (18th Century Lit.), the professor focused on the life and times of Samuel Johnson. The key focus of discussion was Samuel Johnson's idiot compassion and idiot humility. Johnson's view of himself was that he never accomplished enough, he never created his magnum opus. In fact, Johnson's magnum opus is often said to be the English dictionary, which took him a large portion of his life to complete.

Johnson would also ghostwrite sermons for ministers and priests, and, as legend has it, he would write two-four page moralist essays (called The Rambler) for magazines ten minutes before the ink had to hit the press.

Johnson also wrote about the struggles of the common man, and, despite being one of the brightest minds of the 18th century, he viewed himself as a straggler.

However, he was a genuine Renaissance Man. He could be reborn in any century and thrive on just one of his skills alone.

I mention this mainly because I figure it might catch your attention. There have been people throughout history who possess great powers for mankind but suffer in deciding how to best use them. I think the message to take home from Johnson is to at least use one of the powers in some way, even if the rest go to waste.

[Mark Sigal]

Interesting perspective, John. Moral of the story from Johnson is to go forward, to live, create and express, unencumbered for limiting perspectives of self. In his case, there was no substitute for doing, but he did (accomplish), regardless of what the tape was playing in his head.