Bill Simmons, who is easily my favorite sports writer (Why? He is a fans' fan in terms of his sports knowledge, understanding of the human drama, comedy and just plain wackiness of professional sports), wrote a really good article on the "final" installment of Monday Night Football on ABC.
Final is in quotes because the show is just moving down the dial to sister station ESPN. In other words, a non-event. For the footballers who love MNF, they pretty much know how to find ESPN on their remotes. For the legions who couldn't give a hoot unless their team was playing, or just couldn't give a hoot period, at most they get to see what ABC can offer up on Mondays.
Simmons larger point in the article is that MNF has not really mattered since the original Monday Night Football broadcast team of Howard Cosell, Frank Gifford, and Don Meredith was broken up when Cosell left the booth after 1983, so why all of the sentimentality?
As someone who grew up during this period, I completely agree, but Simmons sets the context best for understanding why the show mattered then as much as it did:
- "Two things made the Cosell Era stand out. First, you couldn't replicate the Gifford-Meredith-Cosell team if you tried (as ABC slowly found out). Gifford was the most popular football player of the '50s and '60s, a matinee idol in every sense, as well as one of the few athletes who successfully crossed over into broadcasting. Meredith was a force of nature, just a likable guy who appealed to everyone in every part of the country. And Cosell pretty much hijacked that show and made it his own personal pulpit -- he was the one who transformed that telecast from "mere football game" to "polarizing television event." Whether you hated Cosell or loved him, you had an opinion about him. He mattered."
- "More importantly, we had like only six channels back then. Maybe "Monday Night Football" was a huge deal, but so was "Fantasy Island," "The Incredible Hulk" and everything else. Yeah, the Meredith-Gifford-Cosell team meant something to me, but so did Bill Bixby and Cheryl Ladd. So did Jimmie Walker. So did Donny Most and Mindy Cohn, for God's sake. Growing up in the late '70s, there really wasn't much to do. I'm telling you....nobody was matching the importance that "Monday Night Football" held during an era where nobody had cable, DirecTV, iPods, video games or the Internet. That was truly the perfect storm of football broadcasting, something we will never see again. At least until Cosell is cloned."
Netting it out, Simmons captures the stupidity of TV executives in changing the perfect theme song (you can listen to an excerpt by watch the clip above) by saying, "The fact that they eventually augmented it with the Hank Williams Jr. song proved what's wrong with television -- here you had the perfect theme song, something everyone loved, and the higher-ups still felt the need to tinker with it. Seriously, do you know one person who watched the beginning of "Monday Night Football" and thought to themselves, "You know what? This music is great, but I can't shake this nagging feeling that it could be better … "
Similarly, he captures the power and bizarre magic of Howard Cosell. "There has never been anyone like him before, or since. Greatest boxing announcer ever. Most divisive football announcer ever. Best agitator ever. One of the most entertaining interviewers ever. By all accounts, one of the biggest behind-the-scenes jerks ever. And his halftime highlights … I just remember watching those games in the late '70s, waiting for the first half to end and hoping that he would spend even 20 seconds on a Pats game. This is one of those "You had to be there" things -- kinda like how you had to be there to understand the sheer magnitude of a detective show that featured Jaclyn Smith and Cheryl Ladd. But you had to be there for Cosell. You just did."
Finally, he captures the unintentional comedy of some truly bad talent pairings in the broadcast booth. Of the 1985 team of Frank Gifford, OJ Simpson and Joe Namath, he says, "Let there be no doubt … this was the worst broadcasting team of all time. Much like with Cosell and Jaclyn Smith, you really had to be there -- the comedy was off the charts. Repeat: off the charts. When I'm running ESPN8 some day, we will show all the games from this season on an endless loop. You can't even imagine. It was a "Saturday Night Live" skit for 16 straight weeks -- every play sounded like this:
Gifford: "Hostetler back to pass, excuse me, that's Simms, he takes the sack!"
Simpson: "Whoaaaaaaaa! Whoaaaaaaaa! Wow!"
Namath: "He didn't see the blitz … the blitz was on … gotta watch out for the blitz … blitz very bad … blitz bad … "
Simpson: "Ay-yeeeeeeeeeeee!"
(Even weirder, all three of these guys ended up in bizarre tabloid headlines. Gifford had that stewardess thing and the "You have wonderful breasts, I'm extremely aroused right now" quote; Namath had the "I wanna kiss you" moment with Suzy Kolber; and O.J. trumped both of them. And then some. I'd say more, but he's still on the loose. I don't want to provoke him. Back to the column.)
In any event, read the article and watch the clip. If you like the clip, share it with a friend by clicking the Share option or grab it by clicking the Grab option and pasting the text into your website or blog.