A man goes to the dentist to have a cavity filled, and while under the effects of the nitrous oxide gas he sees with absolute clarity the meaning of life. Unfortunately, once the anesthesia wears off, his memory is foggy and he can no longer place to words what he experienced.
Undeterred, he commits himself to write down the specifics the next time that he is in such a state. The time comes, and sure enough the man sees life and its meaning with total clarity. With paper and pen handy, he faithfully writes down what he has just experienced.
The next morning he enthusiastically pulls out what he has written from his pocket. What does it say? It says, “A strange smell of gas pervades the room.”
Too often we approach life from the perspective of moral and intellectual certitude that we have found the one 'true' path. Anointing oneself as the arbiter of truth, we dismiss alternative perspectives and judge others, holding tightly onto to something that in the end is as amorphous as gas.
The irony is that the practitioner of such a perspective is its greatest victim. Not only are they partially blind since they willingly limit their vision, but they walk the lonely path that comes from elevating oneself above others.
Do you find yourself regularly falling prey to the ‘all’ or ‘none’ syndrome, wherein every situation is rigidly, blackly defined as good, bad, right or wrong, where there is no acceptance of the inherent gray-ness that is the paradoxical essence of life?
If so, then you are a vampire of sorts, infected with a heart that cannot breathe in the same oxygen as others, relegated to walk the night alone.
To be clear, I have been this person, and more so than anything I can remember how such judgment of others manifested in me being ready to pounce – mostly on myself – when plans went awry and expectations were not met. Without compassion for others, I could not hope to be compassionate for myself. It’s the yin-yang principle at work.
For me, the change came when I gained humility, the simple understanding that so much of life is randomness, full of untraceable karma and just plain luck.
Far from rendering me powerless, this perspective empowered me to reach new heights by freeing me to see and contemplate new directions, create more accommodating spaces and giving me the heart and soul needed to truly connect with others.